Tremble

Deviantart

Immediately after reading that the AHCA passed the House, my shoulders shook as I held in my rage and sobs, because letting it out at my new workplace didn’t seem like the most appropriate place to vent my fear and frustration.

Days later, I read the Wisdom of Solomon for the first time in my life, and my heart shook within me at the power of those ancient words admonishing the righteous and praising the just. I read Jesus’ words uplifting the poor, weeping, and persecuted, and berating the rich, happy, and secure, and my voice shook while I spoke them out loud, the living room softly aglow with morning light my pulpit.

Sometimes, it causes me to tremble.

Ten years ago, my mom came into the stable at the end of a riding lesson, her normally calm eyes watering with tears and her usually steady body and voice shaking  with emotion. She managed to tell me my grandfather had been in an awful accident, and we needed to get to him and our family in Pennsylvania immediately.

There are mornings when my body shudders in fear, when the the power of my silent sobs forces my body into mild convulsions in the midst of panic attacks, as I physically and mentally fight my inner thoughts.

The ground in occupied Palestine, my family’s homeland, and in Syria, the first home of countless refugees, continues to tremble with bombs aimed at civilians, including mothers and children.

Tremble.

When my dad called me for the first time in 15 years, my fingers trembled so hard I worried I would accidentally hit “End Call” instead of “Answer Call.”

Almost 7 years ago, in a dorm kitchen, I prepared to tell a boy that I had a crush on him. When I looked up at him, I noticed his lips trembling slightly. Somehow, he knew what I was about to tell him, and it was moving him as much as me, if not more.

Five and a half years later, our hands trembled as he slid the engagement ring onto first my right ring finger, then after a laughter-filled correction, onto the left one.

Tremble.

Trembling comes in the midst of seismic shifts.

Earthquakes occur when plates shift and bump up against each other and try to move away. They change land masses and push once unmovable landmarks into new locations.

Our bodies shake with pain, anger, fear, joy, and excitement.

The earth quaked when Jesus breathed his last, and it shook to expose the empty tomb.

Were you there…

Earthquakes and resurrection. Tremors and new relationships. Quaking in fear and body-racking sobs. Movers and shakers.

Change comes, and it jostles and unsettles.

Brace yourselves.

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s