About two months ago, I started taking Lexapro after several rough months full of transitions and a TON of anxious thoughts.
The changes I’ve experienced since then have been fantastic.
I’m not miserable. In fact, I’m anything but.
I’m still stressed, and I still worry about things.
I worry about normal things like my job performance and paying bills on time. I worry about less normal things like whether or not my fiance and I rough-house too much or if I am a disappointment to everyone because I cannot afford my own car yet.
But I’m not overwhelmed anymore.
I have my moments and my breaking points, where things become just a little too much and I just snap. This can be because of a few out-of-line comments, too much mental or physical stimulation, or simply because it’s one of those days.
But they are so much less frequent, and so much less intense.
Now, I can breathe in the midst of the chaos. I can talk about my thoughts in a logical manner without them overwhelming me. I can see them for what they are: thoughts that enter my mind but do not control me or my reality. My mind is a more inhabitable place and finds rest for itself. It is no longer a place of pure chaos.
Now, I look forward to the day ahead instead of dreading it. I whistle, hum, and sing. I laugh loud and enjoy people’s company. My muscles have relaxed and my face has softened. I savor the moments in my days and find enjoyment in my tasks instead of feeling rushed to check off to-do lists, including the ones my anxious thoughts make.
In short, I’m doing well.
I’m doing very, very well.
I’m taking my medicine, exercising, eating better, praying, reading, writing, and reflecting. In their own ways, they assist me in my daily life as a person with anxiety. They keep my body fit, my mind at rest, and my spirit assured.
I am doing well, friends. I am doing very well indeed. And I am beyond thankful for that.